I'm filled with gratitude for the wild, weird, and wonderful Old Testament that I've gotten to know better as I've done the Twible project over the last couple years. I'm also filled with gratitude that I'm done. And God never did strike me with lightning.

Since October of 2009, when I started the Twible project (on a complete whim -- I was in L.A., after all), I've learned more about the Bible than I ever did in divinity school. It turns out there are very good reasons why we don't teach our children certain parts of the OT. But I'm a better person for having wrestled with it. I still don't understand why God felt it so necessary to off the Midianites, but I appreciate these great talks G & I have been having.

This week, we started the New Testament, and there was much rejoicing. At least in my house. But there's a twinge of regret, too, so in the spirit of that nostalgia, here's a look back at Malachi and the closing tweets of the OT.

#Twible overview of Malachi: Last OT book is court case b/w an angry Israel & the god it’s suing for neglect. Pass the Junior Mints.

#Twible Mal 1: G: “Israelites do white elephant giving, only sacrificing what they don’t want themselves. But I don’t want another lava lamp!”

#Twible Mal 2: Plaintiff Israel can’t get a word in edgewise as G calls her a liar, cheater & whiner. I know you are, but what am I?

#Twible Mal 3: Closing argument: G’s sending a messenger. But who may abide the day of his coming? He’ll scrub you w/ Tide AND Mr. Clean.

#Twible Mal 4: OT ends, ushering in 400-year era of silence b/c G is busy having a lobotomy & changing his violent personality for the NT.